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Referendum

June 20, 2016

I have copied and pasted this from Facebook, it’s a reply to a remain post. I haven’t changed it at all. The person that posted this is just ordinary and not alone in his views and that is what is so scary….

“Like I’ve said a million times 10 billion Muslims love and cherish Muhhamed who’s wide was 8 years old.. he had sex with her at 7… and that was just one of his wives before he turned into a fucking murderer… no wonder the faith of Islam is fucked.. it’s like 200 years from now.. 10 billion people cherishing Jimmy Saville   .. Muslims are fucked.. Turkey has the worst human rights records to date..save the other Muslim countries like Dubai.. sorry but OUT VOTE OUT VOTE OUT..Then wait till our streets are way with these scum.. and butcher the lot..”

Farage and his cohorts in the brexit campaign should not be allowed to pretend that they don’t know that their campaign is racist and is being exploited by racists.

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So…..

February 7, 2017

So I’ve been diagnosed with M.E.

Now M.E. Has loads of symptoms apart from tiredness which everyone knows about. One of the ones I suffer from is anxiety, but I have a very simple antidote to that, let me explain, for example I’d just settled into bed yesterday and I started to worry that I’d not turned the hob off, I knew deep down I was worrying about nothing so but was I? I turned over in bed and instantly forgot about the hob. Because forgetfulness is another symptom, I personally see that as a bonus because anxiety is far worse forgetfulness. 

I tried explaining this to the fire chief last night and he didn’t quite see it my way.

Forgetfulness really is a thing that I struggle with, I thought of that joke whilst I was walking to the library where I volunteer at and I had to keep repeating it to myself all the way there and until I could write it down. I don’t even know if it’s funny anymore.

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Not the Decent Hard Working Guy

November 15, 2016


Sitting in the pub smiling,talking, living.

Aware of the next table, of being glared at,

by those that say they know you, never having met; 

but you know someone told them this and crap.

 What are they saying; they cant say that!


Don’t you go and correct them, sit down,

don’t go giving them my pain; laying it bare like a carcass bleeding, 

let them think what they think,

 let them imagine my stink, my crime,

 my dishonour, my mystique. 

For I’m just The Cunt with a cunt

 with poor excuses,

 not the decent hard working guy.


Expose the truth, leave it out in the air, 

unpolished,

baked bare in the bright moonlight,forever seen unseen; they will still call it lie.

Why? Because I’m just a Cunt with a cunt, not a hard working guy 

that’s why.
Today I bent and kissed my Granddaughter

 goodbye at the gates of learning

 and I whispered, be a good girl; as the sound was leaving my lips

 I wanted to grab them and shove them back down my throat, swallowing hard so that I’ll never say them again.
Digesting all the injustice,

 the pain the anger, 

the shock the disapointment 

the shame, the disgust the hate,

 the distrust the paranoia the fear, the anger, the lies, the saddness 

the anger the fear the confusion. The confusion.
Better to be a Cunt with a cunt 

than the eternal Good Girl, bending so hard 

that the spine permenantly cracks

 and the pages, sliding fall out; 

he wanted me to burn my pages.

 Burn all those Daddys little girl t-shirts; 

burn tradition, 

destroy the Big day, say no to that guy.
Smile and be polite, its in their eyes even if they dont say it. Don’t explain; your truth isn’t meant for their gossip,

even though they desire it. 

be the Cunt with a cunt, they wont like it;

they dont understand it.

They want it; 

ownership of your story, to tell it their way, 

the guy’s way.
Superglue your tearducts and vasaline that smile.

Fix the spine.

Rearrange the pages, set the title, tell the story,

living, talking,being the Cunt with a cunt

with the angry eye, with the knowing look

smiling.

Smiling the Good Girl smile, they don’t believe it;

 the good girl smile, but then you don’t either.

 Your the Cunt with a cunt not the decent hardworking guy.

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Sir Terry Pratchett

March 12, 2015

Some Lights Shine So Bright That When Put Out There Is No Darkness. There is gloom though and sadness especially for his family and friends to whom I can only send my sympathies. Terry Pratchett’s presence has transcended his books, as did his humanity, his morals and his sense of justice. The world is a poorer place without him, but thanks to his books we will never be without him. I have his books that I have lent to my children and will eventually read to my Granddaughter and the ripples will go on.

My first Disc World novel was Weird Sisters it got me hooked, but it wasn’t until I read Captain Vimes angry thoughts, as he patrolled the streets of the Disc World in his cardboard lined boots; of how the poor ended up paying more because of their never-ending need to replace their ‘cheap’ boots than the rich, who could afford one expensive pair that would last a lifetime, how angry Vimes was at the injustice of it all. For the first time ever I think in my reading experience, was possibly a writer who had walked in my cardboard lined boots, well maybe not mine as I’m only a size seven, but you know what I mean; if he hadn’t walked in them he at least understood.

I made it my mission to read all his books and I was never disappointed in the invention, the history, the philosophy, the humour and the heart held within the text. I have admired other authors obviously but the thing that endeared him to me was his passion to do good. Also the fact that he was prepared to reveal his own humanity and frailty in his last few years. It feels strange to be grieving for a man who I never met, maybe it’s because I’ve imagined myself in many roles on the Disc World and it felt like he knew me.

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I Hate Myself Every Time I Tell Her To Be Careful (Why Do We Tell Our Daughters Not To Get Raped?)

January 13, 2015

The world of media, Facebook as well as Twitter has been full of conversations about rape and sexual assault over the last few weeks. There are conversations about Ched Evans and what are called ‘political sex scandals’ (rape of children) and most recently there has been a groping incident on celebrity big brother. These conversations have become intertwined with people discussing degrees of rape, because some rapes are seen as worse than others. One journalist tells the story of how her friend was attacked and raped in a dark alley by a stranger and how this is far worse than the victim of Ched Evans whose victim can’t remember the rape as she was so drunk, so that’s not real rape, http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/crime/11226209/Ched-Evans-Sorry-but-all-rapes-are-not-the-same.html .Perhaps if all rapists simply knock out their victims to impair their memories there wouldn’t be so young men whose lives are ruined when they are caught and prosecuted? Maybe all rapists should carry a bottle of spirits with them to make sure their victim is discredited because as we all know rape is an acceptable punishment for being drunk if you’re female.

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/former-judge-says-rape-conviction-rates-will-not-improve-until-women-stop-getting-so-drunk-9691911.html Yes because all rape victims were drunk.

Let’s be clear, rape is rape, it is a deliberate physical act, whether it is a predator in an alley or a pub or a club or a kebab shop or in the home of the rape victim, at some point the rapist makes a decision to rape, the intended victim has no control over that and to keep insisting that women are responsible for the decisions of their abusers has to be one of the most bizarre and unfair fallacies known to womankind. Even if the victim is stone cold sober her testimony will be suspect.

One post on Facebook sympathetic to Chloe who was groped on this years CBB was soon full of victim blaming replies. “Chloe poses for page three she should know the effect she has on men”. “She was naked under her robe what did she expect?” These were women attacking and victim blaming and eventually sadly the post was removed as the negative comments and arguments grew and grew. Firstly we are all naked under our clothes, if one layer isn’t enough is two or is three enough to prevent groping? I wonder if all women who have worn swimming costumes and bikinis deserve to be groped as well? The irony is many of these people showing sexist attitudes would be the first to criticise anyone wearing the veil or the burqa. Can you blame any women from hiding from men?

Being raped by a stranger is uncommon, people are generally raped by people they know and trust, we will never know exactly how many rapes go unreported but as the conviction rates are so low it’s hardly surprising women don’t report, especially if the rapist is known to you and possibly your friends and family, would you risk reporting it? Can you imagine your friends and family accusing you of being a liar? Meanwhile it is deemed normal for women to walk around in a constant state of high alert making sure they’re not accidentally alluring to any strange men unable to control their basic animal instincts to rape, which is all men if you read any Facebook or Twitter comments. Of course if you know the rapist you must have been asking for it, because were you drunk? What were you wearing, were you alone with him, have you ever had sex before because once you’ve given consent to one man it applies to them all didn’t you know that? Of course don’t think being a virgin means you don’t deserve to be raped if you look, older, sexy and have ever flirted with anybody ever. It’s even your fault if you’re naive, because even though we value innocence you should always be aware of the effect you’re having on those poor men.

If I was a man I would be getting really pissed off being referred to as some sort of animal that cannot control themselves. Men do have brains, men do know right from wrong, men do know about consent, men do know if they get a woman drunk they can get away with rape, men do know rape is about power and not sex, men do know about the violence done to women, men know what men do. Men know they will be believed over a woman, men know all the above, silent men are complicit men. Men need to listen to women and to talk to men. But then again given the attitude of the chairman of Oldham football club  http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-2905199/Oldham-Athletic-director-Barry-Owen-never-regret-trying-sign-Ched-Evans.html  better not hold your breath. Sadly there are other examples such as this Oldham one, this isn’t a lone male voice.

But if we’re honest we’ve all known, or heard of a man known for getting women drunk in the aim of having sex with them,lots of us have probably had someone topping up our drinks whilst the predator has been on orange juice. I even had someone put vodka in my orange juice thinking I wouldn’t notice ( I was 14 at a village disco & I spat it out, I got called a prude), because once you get a girl drunk… I’d imagine a lot of men are very uncomfortable with the Ched Evans conversation, because they used to think it’s not rape if she can’t pick you out of a line up because she was unconscious.

To anyone who has suffered rape or abuse or any type of sexual assault, it wasn’t your fault, you are neither a mind reader or responsible for other people’s decisions or actions. Whether a page three model, a nun, a stripper, a prostitute, naive, drunk, drugged, half-naked, alone, dressed in hijab, dressing gown or asleep you deserve to be treated with respect.

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Why Controlling violence shouldn’t be called Domestic Violence. Violence is violence.

December 15, 2014

Put the word ‘Domestic’ into the Google search bar

https://www.google.co.uk/webhp?source=search_app&gfe_rd=cr&ei=2_yOVL2_KueB7QbLp4DwDQ&gws_rd=ssl#q=Domestic

and these are the first entries relating to the word ‘domestic’

1 – relating to the running of a home or to family relations

2 – existing or occurring inside a particular country; not foreign or international.

3 – a person who is paid to help with cleaning and other menial tasks in a person’s home.

4 – BRITISH informal
a violent quarrel between family members, especially a couple.
“they are often called to sort out a domestic”.
Domestic isn’t a violent word it’s a word that indicates something that generally happens within a confined space usually the home, something that is private just between families, something that doesn’t concern others. And that right there is why I think ‘domestic violence’ is such an inappropriate term, because somehow all these so-called domestic violence incidents happen in isolation to all other incidents. Everyday you read somebody’s shocked statement that they didn’t see it coming and the people next door seemed so ordinary and he seemed so nice.  How many isolated incidents does it take before the admission is made that ‘domestic violence’ every time it happens is connected to all other incidents of ‘violence including so-called domestic violence’, Because it is common garden,cruel, selfish, graphic, painful,soul-destroying ‘violence’. Generally violence is about control and we live in a society where having and gaining control is seen as a positive thing especially if you are a male. The word ‘domestic’ is used to dilute the word violence with ideas of family and love, it’s also used to conjure the idea of privacy and isolation, the same isolation that is used against many many victims. There is violence against strangers, friends, acquaintances and there is partner violence and this violence is everywhere and more often than not it’s male on male violence, partner or not. Maleon female(partner) just being referred to ‘domestic violence’ serves no-one, it just allows heads to turn away as doors and curtains shut.  Time to educate our sons and daughters that relationships shouldn’t be about control but  partnerships of equals and that violence isn’t an acceptable way of solving problems or of punishment. I suspect we have a long way to go still.
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what Came First Unequal Power Structures or Genitals?

June 8, 2014

I’m not going to post the link to the blog I’m responding too and I’m not going to pretend to remember having any thoughts about genitalia as a child, my brother had a penis and I must have seen it because we bathed together as small children I’ve seen the standard family photos and that’s about it. It wasn’t until sex education at school that I realised that peeing wasn’t the only reason I was made the way I was, I may have noticed my vagina before then but I’m not certain about that.

It was the emergence of breasts that brought about awareness of female bodies as something that was the ‘other,’. I was the 3rd girl in my year to get them unfortunately the first girl was rather large for a nine year old and she was immediately labelled a slag and the older boys wouldn’t leave her alone, girls and boys were cruel to her just because of a body part that she possessed that they didn’t.I remember being relieved that it wasn’t me, I also remember how confused she was and how upset at times and realising it could be me. Consequently hiding my breasts became part of my life, in PE and in swimming, I hated them and I started to hate being female as I had to hide more bits of me. Then of course as we got older the tide turned and the girls with no breasts and the girls that were large were mocked, picked on and generally treated in ways that expressed only their (sexualised) breasts mattered. I know I’m not alone in feeling like that as a child, teenager and young adult. I wish I could say it was different as a fully matured adult but I can’t ignore my genitals or others because nobody ignores mine (please stop talking to my breasts). Should it be different yes of course it should be, but the truth of the matter is we do make judgements based on genitals.

You might think my last statement is outrageous or simply disagree and that’s fine but my own experience of life shows me that it is true. I am a lone worker, I am a school caretaker and at least once a week I am explaining to a workman “yes I am the Caretaker and I’m a woman (woman can lock up a school shocker)” sometimes I am avoiding them coming on to me,(I’m working leave me alone ffs!) Btw having a man coming on to you when you are alone in a building you can’t leave changes the power dynamics considerably, almost in the way puberty does.  I have in the past hidden in the school, sometimes I’m nervous because their attitude has triggered alarm bells; I am always very aware that I’m alone and I’m vulnerable, they don’t ignore my genitals and I can’t ignore theirs. No this has never happened to me when I’ve been alone with a woman incase you’re wondering.

But then it’s not really about genitals it’s about power and you are assigned power or not according to your genitals,we know that historically men decided this assignment of power because let’s be honest female genitalia is much more powerful,multi functional and beautiful than men’s genitals, the penis afterall is tucked away hidden most of the time and it’s fragile as are the testicles (ask any man), no contest really, maybe that’s why the war on women was started in the first place ‘womb envy’ anyone?

The fact is women and men are socialised differently purely because of their biology and unfortunately women are taught they are weaker, lesser and the other, not the standard unit just a companion piece; this is what is wrong, being different isn’t what is wrong. Feminism for me is about being different but equal, it’s about recognising that the world is set up to suit men and their biology and not mine, this is what needs to change, if we pretend to not see genitalia nothing will ever change it will remain geared up to serve the standard unit, because equal doesn’t mean the same.

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Caroline Criado-Perez

A Pox on the Patriarchy

feministmeup

Lady things, explained.

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"I have long argued that the giving of offence, and even hate speech, should be a moral matter but not a matter for the criminal law. That is as true on the football pitch as on the streets. We should always challenge racism. We should also always challenge attacks on liberties in the guise of faux antiracism." Kenan Malik